Tuesday, November 24, 2009
So I realized that if I want this blog to change lives...I need to suck it up and participate. Not that i was afraid of having a picture up of myself, i just realized I never take full body pictures, and lately i have really been loving my body and myself as a whole. Of course i have my off days, but i could remember the times where i hated everything about my body. i would come home and cry my eyes out because i didn't look good in the clothes my friends wore, or even worse because their clothes never fit me.
I hated everything about myself everything from my skin to the size of my feet. i had supportive parents but also parents that continuously reminded me that i needed to lose weight, they told me "you have a beautiful face, but you could afford to lose a couple pounds" awesome, as if i didn't realize this, i now had to openly hear it.
Whenever i had problems with girls the first thing they criticized was my weight, and it used to kill me. i tried to lose weight and sometimes went to extreme measures, i quit eating and sometimes would hurt myself out of punishment for being fat.
Openly admitting this is extremely tough, because i have always tried to have that "i dont give a shit" attitude but for the first time in my life, i finally mean it.
i take pride in my appearance, and my curves (and rolls).
i enjoy clothes and fashion and although it can be tough, i enjoy dressing my body.
i don't consume my life with diets and workout regimes. i work out when i feel like it, and i eat what i want when i want.
my insecurities do get the best of me sometimes, but i get up and work with my emotions.
this is my body, and it isn't going anywhere.